


Snapshot.

by sonnet_18



Category: Togainu no Chi
Genre: Body Image, Insecurity, M/M, Mention of acid attack, Mention of scars, Self Image, body comparison
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-12
Updated: 2019-04-12
Packaged: 2020-01-12 06:22:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18440837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sonnet_18/pseuds/sonnet_18
Summary: Motomi tried to teach Akira about self love.





	Snapshot.

**Author's Note:**

> As a pair of journalists, I often wonder what kind of pictures Motomi stored in his camera ahaha...

“Ah… what the hell is with that weather? Yesterday it snowed but today the sun is so hot it felt like we are in summer!”

  
The door to their small apartment yanked open as Motomi and Akira trudged in with their grocery bags. Quickly Motomi went straight to the kitchen and placed three heavy bags on the table while Akira placed his smaller and lighter bag easily. He frowned.

  
“I could have carried two of those.”

  
Motomi shook his head, “Nah, I don’t want you to tire your arms. I mean, the elevator lift’s broken and we had to climb up 3 floors of stairs!”

  
Akira frowned some more, “I’m not that delicate, I can carry as much heavy bags like you.”

  
To others, Akira’s tone may be a little scary but Motomi found him cuter instead!

  
“Aww, honey.” Motomi chuckled then patted his head.

  
The weather had become warmer the past few weeks so Motomi wore less sweaters and more of his thinner, casual clothes. Just like his preference, he’d unbuttoned the top three of his buttons and rolled up the sleeves. This change of season was unusually hot for spring.

  
After opening the windows of the kitchen to let in cool air, Motomi rummaged the bags to reach for his beer. But Akira stopped his hand and instead gave him a cold green tea drink.

  
“Why are you taking my beer as hostage? They’re innocent, Akira.” Motomi pouted with a huff.

  
Honestly this guy, despite their age difference, acted more like a child than Akira was. But then again he only showed this side to Akira since he’s more reserved and secretive to others.

  
Akira gave him a pointed look, “Less smoking and beer for you.”

  
Despite his complaints, Motomi drank the chilled drink anyway, “You know… I managed to cut down my smoking to only 2 sticks daily instead of my usual number. If you ask me, I think I deserve a lil’ reward. Like a large pint of beer. Cool and refreshing, hmm?”

  
He didn’t realized that as he drank, light beads of sweat dripped down his tanned neck. A little gathered around his collar bone. His Adam’s apple bobbed with each gulp. And Akira watched it all like a faithful cam recorder.

  
Motomi sighed happily after finishing his drink and he was about to say something more but Akira’s stare with that serious look on his face....

  
“Akira?”

  
The youth jolted a little, “W-what?”

  
“Why do you look distracted? Does my handsome visage make you speechless?”, he winked then reached out to pat Akira’s head again.

  
His lover dodged him with a mild glare, “Shut up.”

  
Kidding aside, Akira’s strange distraction did raise concerns in the older man. Gently he cupped his lover’s cheek.

  
“Seriously though, you okay? Dizzy? If you’re tired, you can lie down. I’ll take over cooking duty for… today…?”

  
He trailed off when Akira suddenly grabbed his arm and examined it intensely!

  
“A-Akira?”

  
His lover frowned as he pinched and touched Motomi’s muscled arms and traced the small scars. One old slashed wound could be seen on the left arm from the wrist to the elbow. Motomi once explained he got this scar when he rescued a boy from Arbitro back at ENED.

  
“Is there something wrong with my arm? Did you learn how to read my future from my arm instead of my palm or something?”

  
Motomi tried to joke though inwardly he’s a little worried over his partner’s peculiar reaction and intense staring. The longer Akira stared in silence, the more he felt self-conscious.

  
“Uh, babe?”

  
More silence and prodding and poking. From one arm to the next as Akira examined them, caressing the roughened skin of his digits.

  
Motomi tried to stifle a giggle from the ticklish touches, “Okay, okay. Stop it, love. If this goes on, next thing I’ll see will be you going down on your knees and propose to me or something.”

  
He threw the empty can to the rubbish bin and stretched. Again he could feel Akira’s intense stare at his backside.

  
“Where are you going?”, Akira chased after him.

  
It was endearing that Akira liked to follow him around these days. With a smile, Motomi began taking off his clothes.

  
“To have a quick shower, I’m sweating so much I’m sure I stink so bad.”

  
The stretch of those tanned skin and the movement of those tight muscles… Motomi’s body was like an athlete. Sure he’s not as ripped as 15 years ago but some women and a few others would still salivate over his body.

  
They entered the master bedroom and into the bathroom. There’s a bathtub, a separate shower section and to the side there’s a large mirror for the two wash basins. For an old apartment, this place’s bathroom was way better than the previous places they’ve rented.

  
Noticing Akira followed him to the bathroom, Motomi grinned playfully, “What? Do you want to bath together?”

  
He teased but instead of the usual embarrassed reaction from Akira, Motomi was greeted with silence. Confused, he turned around and saw Akira was staring at the mirror on the wall. To be exact, he was staring at their reflection.

  
“Akira? Seriously, what’s wrong? Do you feel sick? Want me to carry you back to bed?”

  
Akira pushed away Motomi’s hands. He glared up at him then to Motomi’s surprise, he too began to strip!

  
“What? Can’t I have a bath as well?” The younger man glared at him in a challenging manner after dumping his shirt to the laundry basket.

  
Motomi refrained from saying more. He had a feeling Akira’s not promising a sexy time in the waters and just wanted a quick rinse. Without further ado, he too proceeded with his bath.

  
*****

  
Now this felt more awkward than before.

  
Akira’s in the bath tub, enjoying his hot soak while Motomi sat on the stool as he shampooed his hair.

  
Ever since they began bathing, Akira quietly stared at him. Especially his back.

  
Not wanting to annoy his lover, Motomi decided not to ask any more questions and hoped later his partner would open up to him. That’s how Akira liked it, he hated to be pushed when he’s not ready.

  
“Ossan…”

  
“Hmm?”

  
Motomi almost got soap suds into his eyes when Akira suddenly called for him.

  
“Want me to help wash your back?”

  
Motomi almost cried! He’s not sure he’s crying for the painful conditioner liquids that got into his eyes or they’re actual tears!

  
“U-uh, are you sure? You almost never want me to scrub your back before.”

  
He didn’t see it but Akira was blushing to his ears, “That’s because… you always touched me where I’ll feel… crazy…”

  
Once Motomi washed away the bubbles from his hair, he smirked. “Well, I’ll take that as a compliment.”

  
Akira gave him a pointed look again.

  
Motomi smiled angelically as he offered the soap bar and towel over his shoulder as Akira knelt behind him.

  
Akira awkwardly wet the cloth and scrubbed the soap on it before proceeding to wash Motomi’s broad back. There were faint scars there as well, perhaps from his mercenary days. The ones that stood out to Akira were… burnt marks.

  
Noticing Akira’s halt in movement, Motomi peeked over his shoulder, “What’s the matter?”

  
Akira shook his head and resumed, “…It’s nothing.”

  
The only thing he could guess about where Motomi got those burnt marks was the incident of his late son. Did Motomi try to run into the burning lab? Without a care he’d be burn alive?

  
Mentally shaking his head, Akira concentrated on soaping his lover’s shoulders and around the neck. It’s at there that he noticed the stubbles.

  
“Ossan…”

  
“Yeah?”

  
“When did you start growing a beard?”

  
Motomi laughed at the random question!

  
“Ahahaha! Why the sudden curiosity? Do you want me to shave?”

  
Akira thought about it then shook his head as he soaped down Motomi’s spine, “No…” Rather, he can’t imagine a clean shaven Motomi. “Just answer me already.”

  
“Well now… hmm… I think I was around your age… oh! No! I think it was when I turned 16? Boys usually grow facial hair from 17 onwards though. As for me, they always grow back whenever I shave them the next morning so I just don’t bother anymore once I graduated university.”

  
“I see…”

  
Again Akira became quiet with a serious look on his face. His left hand reached up to touch his own smooth chin absent of any facial hair despite turning 21 recently.

  
Motomi turned around and gently pulled Akira into a loose, soapy embrace.

  
“Penny for your thoughts?”

  
The assistant refused to look into Motomi’s eyes, “It’s unfair…”

  
“What’s unfair?”

  
“You smoke and drank beer so much yet you’re still taller and stronger… than me.”

  
Again Akira averted his gaze to the mirror where he was checking their height difference while disrobing.

  
“Ever since we first met, you looked haggard and a little weak. I wondered how can you survive in Toshima. But then… I saw how you’re… actually very strong. You’re also agile but rather act dumb than get into a fist fight with thugs. You could fool others but… I saw how you always have push ups almost every day before dinner. How could you climb up hills and mountains like it’s easy? You always talk about needing new prescription reading glasses yet you aim your pistol with amazing accuracy…”

  
For a moment Motomi forgot how to breathe. It took a few seconds for Motomi to get over his surprise before he burst out laughing!

  
“Oh… oh, Akira! You’re so adorable!”

  
Blushing in embarrassment, the younger man tried to paw him away as his partner wrapped him in a tight squeeze, “Let me go.”

  
“Nope! Not after you said such an adorable thing! Ah, seriously, I love you!”

  
Akira struggled to escape but it was futile as Motomi was of course stronger than he was.

  
“Seriously, let me go before someone slip and we hurt ourselves falling down!”

  
Feeling Motomi’s tanned, sun-kissed skin against his felt so good. But all feelings of arousal from the close proximity evaporated a bit as Akira saw how skinny he was compared to Motomi’s broader chest and tight stomach.

  
“Alright, let’s go to our bedroom.” Motomi grinned as he carefully helped his assistant to stand up and reached for their towels.

  
Akira blushed, “n-now?”.

  
Motomi’s grin turned into a softer smile as he could read Akira’s thoughts like a book. After drying his beloved’s soft hair, he bent down to kiss Akira’s forehead.

  
“Don’t worry, love. What I’m going to show you is nothing about sex.”

  
Akira was relieved that Motomi always understood about his sex preferences. Unlike most people, Akira thought cuddling on the sofa was better than having sex every day. Sure it felt good and on some nights he wanted more from Motomi that he won’t let him leave the bed even after round two. But most of the time for Akira, just kisses, hugs and even holding hands were enough for him. Motomi once brought up the topic if Akira was possibly an Ace or a Demi. However the terms were too troublesome for Akira to remember all. They’re all just labels and Akira rather believed in his own individual feelings than get categorized by some unknown strangers.

  
“Then… what is it?”

“Hmm… it’s something… where I get to show you how much I appreciate you in my life. Meeting you was the best that has ever happened in my life after I lost my family.”

  
Akira blushed but tried to compose himself, “what do you mean by appreciate?”

  
“You’ll understand in a bit. Now wait for me on our bed and oh! Don’t wear your clothes yet.”

  
The youth gaped at Motomi, “you want me to stay naked?”

  
Motomi winked as he was already half way out the door, “aww don’t give me that look. I promise I’ll be back in a few seconds. I’ll just fetch my camera and then we can have some fun time!”

  
*****

*click click*

  
The sound of the camera shutter could be heard in the bedroom.

  
“That’s so good, Akira! Do it one more time!”

  
“Ossan, lower your voice. Our neighbors will hear and think I’m doing something to you!”

  
Akira whispered with a glare.

  
“But you are doing something to me, I don’t think my heart can take it. Ah, that’s it! More to the right, yes!”

  
*click*

  
Akira blushed hard and tempted to just climb out of bed.

  
“This is ridiculous, let’s stop. How long are you going to take pics of our hands together!?”

  
Right now Akira sat in Motomi’s embrace as the older man took silly selfies and pics of themselves posing in random poses in bed. Not just any regular selfies but naked ones!

  
However none of the pics that Motomi took was meant to be sexual despite being in their birthday suit. Motomi took pics of Akira’s battle scars, the mole he had on his back that he never knew before, his collar bone, his left shoulder and fading bruises.

  
“Akira, this is what they call taking a selfie. We take pics of ourselves and post them online to get likes and favorites! You’re younger than me so you should at least be aware of this past time, ahahaha!”

  
Akira felt like socking Motomi hard.

  
“Of course I know what a selfie is and no way I’m going to post these ridiculous pics of us being naked online! Worse, we’ll probably get imprisoned for indecency or something. Or reposted to a porn site!”

  
Motomi laughed but didn’t let Akira free.

  
“Let’s look at your pics and tell me which ones are your favorite.”

  
Akira rolled his eyes, “we’re just wasting our time. Besides, why do I need to look at my pics when I know how I look like?”

  
“Come on, Akira. Just think that you’re humoring this nosy, old man. Here are three pics of you looking out the window. Which one do you like?”

  
Akira stared at them then sighed, “I don’t know… the 1st one? It’s the only pic where it’s not blurry.”

  
Motomi grinned and rewarded Akira with a peck on the cheek, “I agree, in this pic you look adorable as if you just woke up and enjoying the sky view. It’s a candid pic and I wish I take more shots since after that you kept avoiding my viewfinder lenses as if I’m going to tackle you down, ahaha!”

  
The younger man sighed, “Ossan, seriously why are we doing this? Selfies are useless.”

  
Motomi still smiled like a sunflower, always happy and cheery.

  
“Perhaps selfies are useless but that doesn’t mean we can’t have fun. You may think those people taking selfies are a bit vain but from I see, it’s just one of the signs to show that they’re confident with their looks. That they love their appearance, maybe to show off a new hair cut or their newly bought skirt is perfect for tonight’s party.”

  
Akira wasn’t convinced, “These days it’s easy to fake a perfect look. There are so many apps in your phone to help you add make up or fix your picture to make you look different than reality. Bigger eyes, plump lips, lighter skin, slimmer cheeks. Fixing their flawed parts of the pic. Those people post their edited selfies don’t sound like they are confident or love their appearance to me.”

  
Motomi laughed again, “you’re always so realistic. I can’t deny that too and it’s kinda sad. Young teens will think seeing those pics as natural. Some would even take drastic measures for that perfect shot like extreme dieting or apply too much make up. Anyway! We’re getting out of topic here. Back to you, Akira. I still like this pic of yours. You look a bit seductive here with my white shirt. I think you could charm anyone and make them your love slave, I’m going to caption this pic with the hashtag ‘Incubus’s Love’! Ahahaha!”

  
At that comment, Akira self consciously pulled Motomi’s old button up shirt that he wore to cover as much of his body as possible. His legs felt cold, he wished at least he wore his boxers.

  
“But… I look pale in that picture and my hair is a mess. I think I need a hair cut since it’s gotten long to my shoulders now.”

  
“That’s what you see but for me, you’re beautiful, Akira. I especially like the shine of your eyes here..”

  
The youth looked down…, Motomi always said the most embarrassing and cheesy lines, “you’re just saying that to make me feel better.”

  
Here was a former champion of Blaster… feeling self conscious of his body figure. Who would have thought Akira might have such an insecure and precious side to him? Motomi felt like scooping him in his arms and rain the youth with kisses!

  
“What? You don’t believe me? I even have a dozen of collections of your pictures, Akira! I’ll show you!”

  
Before Akira could stop him, Motomi already ran off to fetch his bag.

  
*****

  
It took a bit of time as Motomi set up the camera stand, computer projector and his laptop.

  
With the bare wall as the screen, Motomi clicked on his laptop and out displayed folders of folders of Akira pictures taken by the man himself.

  
Akira watched on the bed in shock. “WHEN DID YOU TAKE THIS MANY PICS OF ME?”

  
Akira couldn’t believe what he saw… They’re all photos of their travels as well as when they work at home.

  
Akira with his new shoes and watch that Motomi bought for his birthday.

  
Akira in a field of sunflowers. Looking awestruck with so much yellow, green and the endless blue sky compared to Toshima’s dreary dark surroundings of ruined buildings.

  
Akira being followed by two stray cats. He picked up the black cat and stroke it fondly yet his expression looked troubled. As if he remembered one lone person with lavender eyes who may still be roaming around Toshima by himself.

  
Akira for the first time in an airplane and watching the window view outside.

  
Akira trying a spicy dish in a stall.

  
Akira trying to cook.

  
Akira wearing a straw hat during an outing to a beach.

  
Akira playing water gun fight with three attractive youths.

  
Akira fallen asleep on the couch as the fireworks played outside the hotel window.

  
Akira learning how to roll a bandage around Motomi’s swollen ankle.

  
So many of these candid pictures taken over a span of 2 years together!

  
“Some I took secretly with my phone. Others were simply when you didn’t notice ahaha.”

  
Motomi winked as he clicked a few buttons at his computer to set the photo gallery to display all photos one after another like a slide show.

  
He then proceed to cuddle Akira in a bear hug. Both of them watching the slideshow in the bed together.

  
“Now see there? That’s your pic from 2 years ago. You were skinny and a bit pale. You never smile when I say cheese too ahaha. Now wait until the 4th picture…”

  
The 4th pic was Akira’s most recent picture while they were at the Grand Canyon.

  
“See how different you look like?”

  
Akira squinted. Maybe he himself needed glasses too.

  
“I still… look the same?”

  
Motomi chuckled. “No, love. Look. You’re smiling there. You look… beautiful.. and happy. You also gained weight and even a bit tan too. See how much you have grown ever since we left Toshima?”

  
Akira looked back at the previous pictures.

  
“…l don’t understand what you see in me as… beautiful. I don’t have muscles like yours. Not much body hair or beard. Not even as tall and strong too. Even my palm is smaller than yours! Are you calling me beautiful because I look like a girl?”

  
Motomi kissed his crown, “That’s not true, dear. I kept calling you cute because you can be so clueless at times, plus you’re fun to tease too. I told you before back in the church, right? Beauty doesn’t always apply to outward appearances. Gender is just how our bodies are put together. People who don’t identify as their birth gender are beautiful. People who survived the war with bionic arms or a prosthetic leg are beautiful. Survivors of acid attacks are beautifully strong. There are so many forms of beauty and it doesn’t just apply to those Victoria models with a size 1 dresses.”

  
Akira was still looking away, “you can only say that because you never get teased for being short and skinny with other guys.”

  
Motomi still smiled like a sunflower, always happy and cheery, “What do you think makes a man a manly man? Having a beard? Being tall? Strong? Being a hero?”

  
At that Akira became mute then he sighed and leaned into his lover’s chest. Making himself comfy, “…. I don’t know…”

  
Motomi continued smiling as he played with Akira’s soft hair.

  
“To tell you the truth, I don’t know what makes a man a real man myself, Akira. Society tells us men should look like this and that and real men don’t cry blah blah blah blah. Honestly that’s just bullshit because of the ideas of toxic masculinity fed to us through media. Personally, between the two of us, I think you’re more amazing and manly than I am, Akira.”

  
At that Akira blinked in confusion and looked up to the older man, “What… do you mean?”

  
“If it weren’t for you, I would have continued on with my stupid revenge on Premier. I’m grateful you knocked some sense to me that day back at the church. You said I was blindly chasing after Premier just to stop the research from being resurrected. I easily labeled Premier as inhuman without seeing him as a victim just so I have any reason not to bear the guilt of my family’s death.”

  
“……..”

  
“Everybody else either agreed with me that I’m doing something noble or didn’t want to be involved with my crime. Nobody else would willingly dare me by choking them to make a point, just like what you did back at the church. Me, someone bigger and supposedly stronger than you. But I was so shocked when you dared me that challenge, Akira. I don’t know what others think but I thought that was so manly of you to knock some sense into my thick skull!”

  
“I-Idiot, I was just mad at you, that wasn’t being manly at all. Some would even call my actions as reckless. You have a weird sense of love, Ossan..”

  
“Nope, it’s manly as hell. You looked so rugged to that time. And I think that’s when you really stole my heart, Love. You were so cool I almost swoon like those damsels in distress ahaha!”

  
Akira shook his head. Honestly Motomi could be so weird at times.

Thinking about crushes and stolen hearts..., “….the manly one with the cool lines here is you, idiot. You made me fall for you when you said you’ll protect m—-“

  
He stopped his murmur before he could say anything more embarrassing.

  
But it was too late, Motomi perked up as if he just got a great scoop for his job!

  
“What was that, Akira? Can you say it louder for the audience at the back?”

  
“S-shut up! I was just talking to myself!”

  
“That sure made me oh so curious, honey! Come on, tell me~”

  
Few years ago back at Toshima… After they had sex, Akira was flustered around Motomi the next morning. He accidentally knocked over the water bottle to the bed, he felt shy to look at Motomi’s face and when they were on the way to Vischio, Motomi declared he’d protect Akira from the military no matter his background as a former child experiment or the power of his blood. That moment when Motomi cupped his face and promised he’d always protect Akira… that was when he felt something to the adult. Something tender… warm… like.. love.

  
Akira never cared about other people. Motomi was the first to make him feel… like that. Like a girl in love and it’s so ridiculous! Unable to hold back, he started to climb out of the bed, “nothing, just forget about it.”

  
“No way, you’re blushing so hard right now! You’re so adorable! Hold still, I’m going to take a few shots!” Motomi laughed and grabbed his partner’s ankle while his other hand held the camera.

  
“Let me go, Ossan!” Akira tried to free himself.

  
“Nope! Not until you tell me, Akira! What was my coolest line that made your heart swoon? I need to know and write down in my diary ahahaha!”he laughed almost maniacally.

  
“Shut up, I won’t tell you anything!”, Akira covered his face with a pillow. A futile attempt as Motomi began to tickle him!

  
“Aww I love you too honey. Now tell me or I’ll tickle you some more mwahaha!”

  
“Arghhh!”

  
The couple made such a ruckus that neither heard the bell ringing at the door as one of the neighbor wanted to complain about their noises. Oh well, perhaps they might have to apologize together to each of their neighbors but for now let the, have their silly moment as a hopeless pair in love with each other. A picture can preserve a moment for a time but their love to each other would last longer. Perhaps until they reach the grave, together forever until the end of their lives.

  
……

  
………….

  
………………..

  
End?

**Author's Note:**

> It’s ironic I wrote a story about self love and body positivity and selfies when I myself never took one nor I like taking one ahahahaaha...ha Orz
> 
> Basically this is a silly one shot where MotoAki played with their camera and... yeah. Please don’t think Motomi as a sort of photo stalker or something for having about 700 pics of Akira in his phone memory, camera, iPad, laptop and others >///>;;;


End file.
